Conjuring Up Some Trailblazer Hate

Feb 8, 2014; Atlanta, GA, USA; Memphis Grizzlies fan cheers for her team against the Atlanta Hawks in the third quarter at Philips Arena. Mandatory Credit: Brett Davis-USA TODAY Sports

Ever since this group of Grizzlies made their presence known with a first round upset of the San Antonio Spurs a few years ago, fans of the Grizzlies have always found it easy to hate the team we played in the playoffs. And the playoffs are so much more fun when you hate the guys on the opposing bench. The Thunder have their stars Durant and Westbrook that get virtually every single call. And who really likes a team that has a collective noun for a name? The Spurs have made it their personal goal in life to humiliate the Grizzlies every chance they can ever since the Grizzlies pulled that monumental upset.  And then there’s this.

And do I really have to mention anything about the Clippers? We could start with the flopping. We could start with Blake “All I Do Is Dunk” Griffin”. And then there is Chris Paul who has those stupid State Farm Commercials. So hating our previous opponents in the playoffs has always been easy.

But what about the Trailblazers? This is the first time since the Grizzlies played the Mavericks during the Mike Fratello era that Memphis will take on a team that is not the Spurs, Thunder, or Clippers. And the Blazers seem to be a good group of players that have flown mostly under the radar to seal up the #4 seed. So how can we hate the Blazers?

We fabricate it.

Surely we can come up with some reasons to hare this team. This is Memphis after all. So if you need reasons to hate this team, let me help you out.

The Jail Blazers
As nice of a group of guys that this team is, there was a period of time when the Trailblazers were known as the Jail Blazers. Our very own beloved Z-Bo was a part of this team, and had he been left on that team too much longer, his antics would have gotten him kicked out of the league. You love Randolph, right? WELL THE BLAZERS ALMOST COST US A CHANCE TO EVER WATCH HIM!!!

Portland, ME or Memphis, Egypt
Portland, OR is named after Portland, ME. It was between that or Boston, MA when they founded the city. It’s a nice place with some quality lobster. It’s picturesque in the summer and a lovely place to visit. In other words, it’s soft.

Memphis, TN is named after Memphis, Egypt. Memphis was the capital of Egypt for hundreds of years. Egyptian pharaohs were so mean and cruel, that citizens had to pay part of their taxes by giving a certain amount of time each year to work on the pyramids just so the Pharaohs could have colossal burial places for them and all their gold. The Egyptian citizens were tough hombres, and if they could survive that, they could survive anything. To say the least, they were not soft. They were just like Memphis, gritty.

The Rose Garden or The Grind House
The Blazers play in what is today called the Moda Center. It used to be known as the Rose Garden. Seriously? When thinking of basketabll venues, who has ever said let’s go to a rose garden? If I want to go on a lovely night out with my wife, a rose garden might be at the top of my list, but not a place to watch basketball.

The Grizzlies play in FedEx Forum, but let’s be honest. No one calls it that. It’s The Grind House. When you step into The Grind House, you better be prepared to go through the meat grinder that is the Memphis Grizzlies Defense and the ear drum piercing yells of the passionate Grizzlies’ fans. If you’re lucky enough to escape The Grind House with a win, you’ll remember it for the next week because the pain you felt on the floor stays with you.

So if you needed to find a reason to hate the Blazers, there you go. I normally like to look for the good in people, but this is the Playoffs. We can look for reasons to look for the good in them after we’ve sent them packing. Go Grizz!