If you missed part one, don’t do that, it’s important. If you haven’t read that already, you’ll be totally lost now. Well, not totally lost, but things wouldn’t make as much sense. Anyway, go here, enjoy part 1 and get ready for part 2.
4. The Los Angeles Clippers- Major League:
“I think he’ll fit right in with our team concept.”- Rachel Phelps
“That reminds me, I was going to ask you. What exactly is our team concept?”- Charlie Donovan
Major League remains one of the funniest, relevant comedies in the past 20 years. It spawned two sequels that weren’t as good, but still very watchable, mainly because of the cast of characters. You actually felt like these could be actual ballplayers.
Taking it to the next level was the fact that the Indians were going through a drought in real-life when the movie was released. The Indians were a laughingstock in real life and on the big screen.
Welcome to the Clippers’ reality. Ever since the franchise moved to Los Angeles, a curious move at the time by the way, they’ve not just played second-fiddle to the Lakers, but have been a doormat. Their one shining moment came in the 2006 playoffs when they ran the Nuggets out in five games and were about to close out the Phoenix Suns in game 6, but let the lead, and eventually the series slip away.
The Clippers responded by turning over half the roster in hopes of making a deeper playoff run in 2007. The Clippers ended that season under .500 and had no highlights to speak of until they won the 2009 draft lottery and selected Oklahoma’s Blake Griffin.
The Clippers’ owner, Donald Sterling, is every bit as despicable as the Indians’ owner, except he’s a man and racist. Sterling’s off-the-court exploits have been quieter through the years, but as recently as two years ago, he was heckling Baron Davis from his court side seat. That’s fine, Mark Cuban does it all the time. Except for the fact that Davis was a Clipper at the time. So, you know, not exactly the same thing, I guess.
The Indians’ owner actually inherited the team from her late husband and had designs on the team being so bad that nobody would come to their games, and she would be able to move the team to Florida. Sterling actually moved the Clips from San Diego to Los Angeles.
Major League ends with the Indians beating the New York Yankees in a one-game playoff to win their division and the right to play in the American League Championship Series against the Chicago White Sox, where they eventually lost. Sadly, I see the same fate for the Clippers. Even if they get past the Grizzlies in round 1, they’ll have either the Spurs or Thunder in round 2 and then a potential Western Finals series against the Lakers.
This has been an inspiring year for the Clips and next year could be quite special if Chauncey Billups can return from his injury, but at this point, it’s hard to see them giving any contender any real trouble.
5. Memphis Grizzlies- Inglorious Basterds:
“After I kill that guy, you have 30 feet to get to that guy. Can you do it?”- Donny Donowitz
“I have to.”- Ulmer
One of the easier calls for the purposes of this article. The Grizzlies are like MacGyver, they just keep coming and coming. Make a playoff run without Rudy Gay? How about winning the first playoff game and series in franchise history? How about toppling a 1 seed just for good measure? Done.
How about trying to stay in the playoff hunt without Zach Randolph, who became the second all-star in Memphis Grizzlies’ history in 2010 and was unstoppable in the 2011 playoffs for 2.5 months? The Grizzlies responded by adjusting on the fly, swinging a trade for Mo Speights and going to war with the rest of the league. By the time Zach had returned, they had built such a rapport and chemistry with the guys who had been playing, they were afforded the luxury of bringing Randolph off the bench. Now he looms as a sort of secret weapon, ready to destroy an opponent’s second unit at any time.
The basterds were pretty versed in navigating tough spots, in their own right. Their undercover mission in the pub had the potential to go terribly awry, and they did suffer some casualties, but at the end of the night, Operation Kino was still intact and moving forward, just with a few different faces.
That’s just like the Grizzlies. They believe that when one guy goes down, another guy will step up and for the most part, someone always has.
If the playoffs without Gay was the bar scene with Bridget Van Hammersmark, then the scene at Shoshanna’s theater was the 2.5 months (or 38 games, over half of this shortened season) without Randolph. Hans Landa had figured out the Basterds’ plot, had killed Van Hammersmark and even captured Lt. Aldo Raine and Utivich. Things were bleak for the Basterds, just like they were for the Grizzlies.
Memphis acquired Mo Speights for the simple reason that he was available and over 6’7, plugged him into Randolph’s spot and while he wasn’t as productive as Zach, he produced nearly a double-double, and was a far more able defender than Randolph. The Grizzlies not only stayed in the hunt, but they made up ground.
The Basterds did have to cut a deal with Col. Hans Landa, but the movie ended with Raine getting the last laugh, killing Landa’s bodyguard and carving a swastika into his forehead so that the world would always know about his involvement with the Nazis during World War II.
The lesson here is obvious: don’t mess with a bunch of tough suckers from Tennessee.
6. Dallas Mavericks- The Shawshank Redemption:
“Remember Red, hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.”- Andy Dufrense
So far, this article has been about the western conference teams that I think can make it out of the west for one reason or another. I don’t have that kind of faith in the Mavericks this season, but their 2011 run was made up of everything a team wants to see happen in any playoffs.
The Mavericks has spent a lot of time wondering if they would ever get over the hump. They had been agonizingly close for years in the middle part of the 2000’s, but couldn’t close the deal. They loved Dirk Nowitzki, but the fact remained that time after time, he failed to get it done down the stretch, most famously in the 2006 NBA Finals and the first round of the 2007 playoffs.
Andy Dufrense swore up and down that he didn’t kill his wife. The jury didn’t believe it and he was sentenced to go to Shawshank prison.
Nowitzki and the Mavericks had three prime opportunities to win a championship before 2011 and had squandered all of them. In 2003, they made the conference finals and lost to the eventual champion San Antonio Spurs. No shame in that, it was a tough series and the Spurs were the best team in basketball. However, Dirk missed the crucial game 6 of that series due to knee pains. He decided to play it safe and sit the game out. The Mavericks lost and his toughness was called into question for the forseeable future.
In 2006, the Mavs went up 2-0 in the Finals and were up 13 points in game 3 with about 7 minutes left in the game. After that point, it was all Shaq and Dwyane Wade. The Mavericks lost four straight and the series to the Heat as Wade shot roughly 892 free throws in six games.
In 2007, the Mavericks were the league’s best team all season and won a blistering 67 games. Even better, Dirk had won the MVP and the team looked like it had moved forward from the damaging loss to the Heat. Then they ran into the Warriors in round 1 where Golden State became just the third 8 seed to topple a 1 seed. The Mavericks were devastated.
Andy Dufrense had a similar run while in Shawshank. He took his guys to do some outdoor work with him and eventually became the warden’s bookkeeper thanks to his experience before he was arrested. Eventually, Dufrense caught wind of a guy who was in jail that was bragging about killing Dufrense’s wife. Andy went to the warden with this information and when the warden said he’d look into it, he really meant he was going to have the witness killed.
The assassination of Andy’s star witness was devastating, but not nearly as devastating as Boggs and the Sistas continually raping Andy for two whole years, just like fate kept treating the Mavericks. First the Finals meltdown and then the biggest upset in NBA history. How do you bounce back from that?
The Mavericks finally paved the way for every NBA fan’s dream in 2011. Their all-star player and best player in franchise history got fire and stayed that way for four whole rounds. Things were rocky against Portland in round 1, but Dirk closed the Blazers out almost alone in games 5 and 6. The second round series against the Lakers was Kobe and Dirk’s first playoff series against one another and it was no contest as the Mavericks swept. Then the Mavericks dispatched of the Thunder in the western finals.
Dallas was returning to the NBA Finals to face the Heat, and the rare opportunity to completely exercise every demon imaginable.
The Mavericks wiped out the despicable Heat in six games, Dirk won the Finals MVP and the Mavericks had their championship. Dirk was so overcome with emotion that he had to leave the floor before the game was ever over to keep everyone from seeing him weep. You may think it’s a cliche, but it was pretty freaking cool to see a great player who’s made more money than I can even imagine still achieve something that meant so much to him.
That scene would have been Andy and Red’s reunion on the beach at the end of the movie. After everything they had been through, Dirk had crawled through 500 yards of s*it smelling foulness and had come out on the other side. Here’s his championship, now leave me alone.
I personally believe that the Bulls, Heat, Thunder or Spurs will win the world championship this year, and for good reason, they’ve had the best teams all season. But every once in a while, a team will surprise you, and that’s the beauty of the NBA playoffs, if you get someone going, he can carry you for two months and win the whole thing for you. Dirk has been a great player for years, but isn’t it possible that Boston, or the Lakers veteran experience could carry them through the wars one last time?
I’m not expecting it, but stranger things have happened. Just ask the 2011 Dallas Mavericks.