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Matching the Memphis Grizzlies with their rapper equivalents

By Ian Pierno

Aug 31, 2016; Miami, FL, USA; Drake performs at American Airlines Arena. Mandatory Credit: Ron Elkman/USA TODAY NETWORK
Aug 31, 2016; Miami, FL, USA; Drake performs at American Airlines Arena. Mandatory Credit: Ron Elkman/USA TODAY NETWORK /
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Chandler Parsons – Drake

Feb 5, 2016; Dallas, TX, USA; Dallas Mavericks forward Chandler Parsons (25) watches his team during the game against the San Antonio Spurs at the American Airlines Center. The Spurs defeat the Mavericks 116-90. Mandatory Credit: Jerome Miron-USA TODAY Sports
Feb 5, 2016; Dallas, TX, USA; Dallas Mavericks forward Chandler Parsons (25) watches his team during the game against the San Antonio Spurs at the American Airlines Center. The Spurs defeat the Mavericks 116-90. Mandatory Credit: Jerome Miron-USA TODAY Sports /

By Ian Pierno (@IanPierno)

Album dropped? Grammy nomination. No questions asked.

Time ticking down in the fourth quarter, time for a contested 3-pointer (or a 3/4th court Hail Mary)? Swish. No questions asked.

The greatest rapper in the world, Drake, and the newly-signed Memphis Grizzlies forward Chandler Parsons are a lot more alike than you think.

The main thing this duo shares is their efficiency in the spotlight. Parsons isn’t known as an elite rebounder or defender, but he’s looking to earn every cent of his $94,000,000 maximum deal with his scoring efficiency. His true shooting percentage of 58.9 led all Dallas Mavericks players to log at least 450 minutes on the floor. 

Aug 31, 2016; Miami, FL, USA; Drake performs at American Airlines Arena. Mandatory Credit: Ron Elkman/USA TODAY NETWORK
Aug 31, 2016; Miami, FL, USA; Drake performs at American Airlines Arena. Mandatory Credit: Ron Elkman/USA TODAY NETWORK /

Hailing from a much colder hometown than Casselberry, Florida, Drake scores with a similar efficiency on every album and mixtape he drops. Heck, even songs he’s featured on rock the airwaves. However, there are rumors that Drake may be skipping out on the nitty gritty part of rapping: writing his lyrics.

Regardless of their minor deficiencies on the court or in the creative studio, they share three very, very, very, unique attributes.

  • Man, do they know how to put on a show and play to a crowd.
  • Neither is from Memphis originally, but Parsons will be spending his future summers there while Drake grew up spending summers with his dad in Memphis. 
  • Drake had the power to end Meek Mill’s career with his “Back to Back” freestyle, the same way that Chandler Parsons ended JaVale McGee’s career with this disrespectful dunk.

Drake showed he has quite the sense of humor when he was a guest on Saturday Night Live, and Dwight Howard’s old Snapchat stories in Houston show that Parsons may also. 

OK, I’m done now.

Next: Wade Baldwin IVert

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