Into the Bears’ Den: Best basketball Halloween costumes
By Ian Pierno
With Halloweekend rapidly approaching, we decided to give everyone some ideas of basketball-inspired Halloween costumes to rock whether you’re at a college party or trick and treating around the neighborhood.
Parker “Brick Squad” Fleming (@PAKA_FLOCKA)
If you’re in the loop and ahead of the game like me, you already have your Chandler Parsons Grizzlies jersey. If you want to find some ladies at your college fraternity party, dress up as the ladies’ man himself. Otherwise, wear your Kevin Durant Thunder jersey and tape “Coward” over his last name. If you don’t have one, go as LeBron. If you have zero basketball apparel, this roundtable won’t help much.
Ian “The Grammar Genius” Pierno (@IanPierno)
Look, every look goes in and out of style, it’s a continuous cycle. I read GQ and follow Four Pins on Twitter, I know what I’m talking about. That being said, be ahead of the game and hop back on the short shorts train and complete the look with a Team USA John Stockton jersey—I’m a trendy young writer and it’s what I’m rocking. Skies are out, thighs are out. Plus, if you’re long string bean like me, people won’t expect you to fill out the thing like they would for a Patrick Ewing look. Also, patriotism is cool. America needs more patriotism. This is the best country in the world. Bless up.
Taylor “Beautifully Bearded” Buckley (@sctaylor94)
As everyone knows, Halloween is the best weekend to scare people. Tell me if you can think of anything scarier than a free throw line for many big men in today’s NBA. Can you? I didn’t think so. If you really want to make people shake in their shoes, get yourself a nice pair of black slacks, a black shirt and just a few pieces of white tape and you’ll have the scariest costume on the block—see what I did there? I know what you’re thinking, this can’t really be that scary, but it is. A few pieces of well placed tape and you’ll have 7-foot grown men shuddering with fear. Trust me on this.
Ryan “Sailing down Austin Rivers” Snellings (@rsnellings25)
So, ignore these nerds and listen to me. You want to have a sweet Halloween? Go as Steven
Adams. The man is a 7-foot New Zealander, but may as well be a Dothraki warrior. Ladies love Game of Thrones and an accent, so why not encompass both? Bonus points are awarded if you have the real hair to pull this costume off. Make sure to say “mate” and to be as chill as humanly possible. Want to add a little humor to the costume? Add some swollen testicles and make your buddy go as Draymond Green (Please, no real nut shots though, guys!). If you do this costume correctly, you may just pull your own Australin Harley Quinn (I know, not the same country, but hey, Margot Robbie).
Jack “New Guy” Spillman (@jack_spillman)
If any of you guys are like me, the most important thing to you this Halloween is dressing up while remaining as comfortable as possible (bonus points for spending little to no $$$). There is only one choice if these are your goals: ESPN commentator. Dress up while using your own comfortable clothes? Check. Still manage to have one of the funniest costumes at the party? Check. Finally find a use for your old ps3 headset? Check. The only negatives I see here is making a sign for the table. But, if you’re riding solo, just make a smaller sign and hang it around your neck. Proceed to meander around the party yelling your favorite catchphrases at party goers (Ex: bango!). Lastly, if you would like to up the fear factor, impersonate your least favorite color commentator (Sorry, Sean Tuohy).
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