2018 Tanking Rankings: Memphis Grizzlies and NBA’s Best of the Worst

No. 1: Phoenix Suns

Now this, kids, this is how you tank. The Suns’ entire season was a steadfast dedication to sub-par basketball; pre-meditated and executed flawlessly. It’s practically a blueprint for tanking:

Start by drafting a bunch of high-upside forwards who don’t figure to make an impact for several seasons. Your fans have a glimmer of hope for the future, while you get to feed Dragan Bender “experience reps”.

Next, alienate your best player to the point where he starts openly Tweeting about his discontent, and gets shipped out of town.

Be terrible on both sides of the ball; Phoenix finished dead last in both offensive and defensive rating.

Maximize that reverse-edge by playing at one of the league’s fastest paces. That way better teams have more possessions to outplay you in each game; the early-#Process Sixers were masters at this.

Next: Grizz will have second-most ping pong balls

Even the best plans aren’t hurt by a little luck; like Devin Booker’s sidelinings. Of course, should your young star be too healthy, you can bench him and get him to play dead for the media.

What the Suns did this year was expert tanking: just bad enough for the league’s worst record, while not quite shameless enough to draw criticism about fair play. A season well spent.